The last few days of my life have been full of smiles, tears, pain, joy, and love. Ah, the JOYS of pregnancy! I am coming to terms with accepting life as it is, and taking it for what it is worth. I feel like I have been put on a rollercoaster- one that jerks you around, shakes you up, making you want to throw up...but also one that is secure, one that knows its path, and one that also brings happiness and joy.
Although the last couple days have been hectic, I have also found many things in my life to be thankful for. Family, being the biggest blessing to me lately--My family is so supportive. I have never met people that are more loving and caring than they are. I had the chance to attend the temple with (most) of them tonight. What a blessing it is to be able to sit with them in the temple, and to feel their love, as well as our Heavenly Father's. They are so important to us, and I hope they know how much we love them!
I had been looking forward to being able to go to the temple ALL WEEK! All of the crazy emotions that we have experienced lately, disappeared as soon as we walked into the temple. My eyes were teary as I handed my recommend to the temple worker, and he welcomed me to the temple. It was as if all my earthly cares and fears faded away with each step I took. AMAZING things happen in the temple, whether you are attending for a special reason, or you are going just to feel the spirit. I had many moments tonight, that I will never forget. Our sweet baby girl was definitely there with us- Tyler and I felt her sweet spirit there with us almost the entire time, comforting us, and letting us know it will all be ok. I cant wait to meet her, to love her, and hug her for reals!
One thing that I have learned about this experience so far, is that a mothers love is unconditional, and never failing. I feel this love for our precious baby already. Its incredible that you can feel so much love for someone so tiny, and that you haven't really met yet. It also goes for all the women who are moms already. I have seen my own mom struggle through the last few days, she is so concerned about me, Tyler, and the babe. She has been such a strength to me in my time of need, and she always shows me how much she loves and cares for me through her actions, as well as through words. I've always been told, you never know how much your mother loves you, until you become a mother yourself. Now I know. I cant help but think of my Heavenly Mother, and how much love she has for ALL of us as well.
For those of you who don't know, Tyler and I decided it would be best to give our baby girl a name. This was a very cool experience for us both- We decided to name her Brenna McKensie Brown. We have always loved the name Brenna, and felt that it would fit her. The day after we decided on the name, I was with my mom. She asked me if I had looked up the meaning of her name- I hadn't, so I decided to take the time and do it. I looked up her name, and was thrilled at what I had found. *Brenna: One who looks forward to the future, shy and sensitive, one who has meaning in life.* At that moment, I knew, that we had made the right decision! It was a great experience, and even though it was small, it put a smile on my face!
We LOVE you all, thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of your prayers in our behalf. Keep em' coming! They have really helped us in our time of need!
"Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but WHO holds the future."