In the last few weeks, I have found myself constantly on my knees asking my Heavenly Father for help and guidance. I know he is there, and I know he is listening, but sometimes I still struggle. My mom gets weekly emails from a few missionaries, and she wrote down a little blurb from one of them-- "When all else fails PRAY, and when that seems to fail, PRAY more." As different struggles have come and gone, prayer has been one of my only sources of peace. Even though I may not get an immediate answer to a prayer, I know it will come. Maybe not in the way I want, or the way I expect, but it will come!
One of the ONLY things that has helped me have a better attitude the last few days is a CD of Primary songs that are sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. My mom bought it for me, and I am so grateful for it! I listen to it almost constantly, and it really helps me to calm down and focus on feeling the spirit. I have found that, when I do things I know I need to be doing, like praying, studying my scriptures, paying my tithing, and attending the temple, and trying to choose the right, I feel the spirit more constantly, and it helps me to focus on the good things I have in my life.
I have started a new gratitude journal, in which I write down 5 things every day that I am thankful for. This has helped me be able to see the many, MANY blessings that I receive daily, even when I think things couldn't get any worse. It helps me recognize my Heavenly Fathers hand in my life, and all of the tender mercies that we have experienced already in this journey.
I could never face this alone. I know I am not alone, even in my darkest times, when I cant seem to find a way out, or when I feel like everything is crashing down around me. I have a wonderful husband, amazing family, and a loving Savior who I can lean on in times of need. It still amazes me, to look around and see all of the love and support we have. There truly is strength in numbers. With help from family and friends, and trusting in my Heavenly Fathers plan for us, nothing is impossible. I have to remind myself of how lucky we really are. Things could be a lot worse, and there are others out there struggling just as we are. Thank you all for all you do, to help us, and for the love you give us!
" Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day.
Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray.
Faith is like a little seed:
If planted, it will grow.
Faith is a swelling within my heart.
When I do right, I know.
Faith is knowing I lived with God before my mortal birth.
Faith is knowing I can return when my life ends on earth.
Faith is trust in God above;
In Christ, who showed the way.
Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow
Whenever I obey."